Thursday 22 October 2015

The wacky world of Facebook....

Hi my name is Kirsty and I love Facebook.

There I've said it. 

I think (most) of you all love Facebook too, but a lot of the time we won't admit it. 

We joke about it, slate it, occasionally have the odd Facebook suicide (yeah, as if that is actually going to last), scoff about people being a certain type of 'Facebook user', the list goes on. I love it for all those reasons. 

Don't get me wrong, there are some things that I don't like, for example, that awkwardness when you start to tell someone something and they're like, oh yeah, I read that on Facebook.... oh.... *stands there doing an awkward whistle*..


The other pet hate is when someone is a certain way on Facebook and nothing like that in real life. That, rightly or wrongly, automatically makes me not trust them.

And don't get me started on people that are your friends on Facebook and ignore you if you see them in real life walking down the street!? WHAT THE ACTUAL EFF! #delete


But the reason I do love Facebook is because of all the wacky crazy different types. Wouldn't it be boring if we all used it the same way!? What makes Facebook so good are the people it's made up of.

Here are a few of the types I definitely have within my friends on Facebook and again, I'm not saying these are wrong, they all go towards making my Facebook feed as much fun as it is:

The lurker - Oh my, I do love these. I had utmost respect for them. I know who my lurkers are and often wonder how they can be so stealth like. That's because they are the exact opposite to me. I have a twitchy 'like' finger... lurkers resist that button, how!?
One of my favourite lurkers, who shall remain nameless, does press the like button every now and then, but only when it’s really 'like' worthy and when that happens, I won't lie, I do an internal whoop.

The TMIer - Yes, this is rich coming from someone who has a blog out about her papaya... But I'm talking about the people who live their full life through status updates, about their boyfriend splits, divorces, falling out with people... nothing is sacred. It's better than reading a celebrity gossip magazine. I find myself actually looking at these people's profiles to get updates. It's like OK magazine, but with people you know. What's not to love!?

The glass half empty - Hates their life and everything in it and every status is woe is me. Again, not too many on my friends list are like this and to be fair, when they have been like this, they have had good reason to.
I always feel for them because a lot of the time you can relate to what they are going through and it’s always good to post a supportive smiley kiss face or some words to let them know you’re thinking of them. It only takes a second and may help someone feel better.

 
The town crier - oh don't we all do this? I fit into this category for sure. A celebrity dies and all of a sudden it's a race to spread the news (come on, admit it, I am) and we get all 'RIP Michael Jackson' like we knew them, or they can read it. So funny, but not, because someone is dead, but funny that we all do this.

The fisherman/fisherwomen - Selfies....surprised it took so long to get to these. It's the constant selfies posted to fish for compliments that I'm talking about. If you're going out and look fit, hell yeah I'm going to hit like and tell you you're a hottie. It's just the constant stream of selfies, when you're pretty much in the same place/position/hairstyle.  It makes me cringe because I'm not like that as a person. 
I'm probably just jealous as I am yet to find 'my perfect selfie angle'. 

And just while we are on selfies..... Duck face... what is that!? Like seriously, WHAT IS THAT? I can't wait for the current duck faces to look back in 10 years and be like, what the hell was I doing with my lips. It's a bit like our generation's shell suits. 
Thankfully social media didn't exist when we were donning those highly flammable bad boys and only my mother has a picture of my fake England shell suit she bought me from Ashton market. Duck face’s are out there forever. Stop it beautiful young girls, STOP!


The status thief - This has only happened to me a couple of times, and I'll be honest, it really unnerves me.  And I don't mean the people that share your status or something you've posted. It's someone who pretty much copies your status word for word... it's a bit single white female for me. 

The 'oh my god my life is perfect' - Almost as bad as the status thief, because you know it's not true. Nobody's life is 100% perfect 100% of the time. We all have something to deal with, especially now we are adults. Our partners/friends/children drive us crazy in at some point. And I'm not asking for them to turn into a Glass half empty or a TMIer, just dial down the 'my life is perfect'. And if it is 100% perfect, I apologise and you carry on spreading that message…

The sympathy -baiter - Who needs Sudoku when you have cryptic updates. I love it. I have a little game with myself and try and guess what it might be. More often than not someone will ask and it will come out in the comments and then I can give myself 10 Scott Mills points if I get it right. 

The ‘well done to the children not on Facebook for a good parents evening’ – I love these, no honestly, I do. But what I really want to read every now and then to make it a bit more entertaining is ‘Fred’s parents evening was shocking. I was so embarrassed. Got told he must do better, he doesn’t listen and just wants to play kiss tag with the girls’. At the moment I feel like teachers must be spinning us all a line because nearly all my friend’s children have glowing reports. Where are the little mo fo’s causing chaos….. Oh wait, not had Isabelle’s parents evening yet…. Watch this space…

I have a few rules that I adhere by for my Facebook. 
  • Be happy - I'm quite a happy person in real life (my husband once said that he thinks my head is full of butterflies and bullshit and I can't argue with that - and bullshit as in crap, not lies) and that (I think) is reflected in my Facebook page. 
  • I very rarely moan, unless whatever I am moaning about is really doing my head in. Ulcers, trains being late, bad service, being ill etc. There are lots of occasions when I type out a status, read it back and end up deleting it. That in itself is quite cathartic. It's a bit like the way I self-edit my blogs. I think 'do people really need to know that'.
  • I don't slate other people or talk about things that are going on in my life that are to do with people around me. 
  • I always remember, everything I write on the internet is in permanent ink and can't be deleted. It may be deleted off your feed, but it’s still out there, in cyberspace.  
  • One day, my children may read this, we are not at the stage where we know what happens with our social media once we shuffle off this mortal coil. It may be at that time that our children/family have control/inherit it and they can see all the bullfeathers we have been sprouting on here, although granted, the likelihood of them trawling through our Facebook accounts is unlikely.
  • Finally, I always bear in mind that Facebook isn’t real, it’s a snapshot of someone’s life and that behind that Facebook profile, there may be things going on that you don’t know about. In fact, I can almost guarantee it, be that a situation or how someone is really feeling.
So there you go, the world of Facebook according to Kirsty. I’d be interested to hear what you think and if there are any other types that make you laugh/mad that I may have missed off here.

Happy Facebooking Facefookers :)
xx





No comments:

Post a Comment