I started to come back to life following the operation, those who have
had general anaesthetic will know the feeling... that floaty, where am I, what
the hell is going on feeling...
As soon as I could speak, or thought I could, I was trying to say, 'what
did they do?' It took about five goes until the nurse heard my whimpering's...
Being 'impatient Annie' (as my mother calls me), I wanted to know NOW!!
I then managed to say, 'did they do the hysterectomy' to which she
replied, something along the lines of ‘yes, love and a little bit more too’. I
of course thought that meant my ovaries were outta there and me and Mrs
Menopause were going to become good friends.
Fortunately, my ovaries were still in place, and what she meant by a
little bit more was that I had had my front wall (prolapsed bladder) and also
my back wall fixed, which hadn't been a problem before, but had fallen down in
the year since I last saw my consultant. I think my love for lifting weights
probably hadn't helped.
So now, I can happily say that my 'papaya flue' is as it should be, my
uterus has left the building, my ovaries are just hanging around, probably
wondering where the uterus has gone, and I'm hopefully not going to get to know
Mrs Menopause for another 10 or 12 years (yeah, can't wait for that, said no
woman ever), but actually, knowing my luck I will be in the 50% that get it
within 5 years, probably next week...
So recovery..... Urgh!
Hi I'm Kirsty, I never sit down, ever, I even think I am doing things in
my sleep. I am a full on mum when I'm not working, I try and be a good wife, I
play netball, lift weights, travel for work, I see my friends.... I DON'T STOP...
I don't know how to....
Until now...
I literally have no choice. Well, I do, don't do as I'm told, and
probably end up back in hospital. And I don't want that, not even for a
second. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (no pun intended). It may
be a 6/8 oh ok, probably in total a 12 week tunnel... but there’s a light.
So here is the official recovery... well, how I interpret it from my
first week and a half recuperating:
- Do nothing, nada, nowt... in
fact, don't even think about doing anything, talk about doing anything, and
don’t even JOKE about doing anything.
- Don't drive for 6 weeks.
*actually sobs*
- Don't even think about
lifting, dancing, laughing, and for the first week, communicating with
your children. In fact, if they come in to the same room as you, leave. *sobs
again*
- Do your exercises, ooooh,
yeah, I like this one.... Oh...rock your knees from side to side ten times
and lift your bum up and down.... not a weight, squat or a funky
soundtrack in sight.
- Oh yeah, the lifting your
bum up and down just reminded me of another, no sex, for 6 weeks. This of
course means it’s all I can think about now. What’s that saying, ‘you
always want what you can’t have’?
- Oh wait, there is a good one
here, no housework (although if Matt was reading this now he would
probably say, no change there then...). Again though, I’m dying to hoover.
This feeling is a first, but tell me I can’t do it… (Matt’s missing a
trick here isn’t he…?)
- One of the painful things is
the random belly burning that has been happening. I must admit over the
last couple of days it hasn't happened but imagine the burn from severe
sunburn on your belly (complete with being hot to touch), then add the
same burning feeling inside your belly too... you might just be slightly
close to this horrid feeling. I can only imagine how women who have
had an abdominal hysterectomy with stitches feel.
- Don't SNEEZE, don't EVER sneeze. Oh my, I have sneezed on three occasions. It's horrific. This
wasn't actually in my official recovery notes of what to do, but that
moment you feel a sneeze coming and the colour drains out of you with
FEAR... What is going to burst, fly out, or explode… arrrrghhhh! I can
confirm nothing did happen that drastic (well as far as I know) but
jeeeeez, it’s not fun.
- Similar wind expulsion that is a no no, not that you have much choice (mainly because during the operation they use a gas inside you (in my head, I'm blown up like a puffa fish on the surgery table), but oh my, it’s the most painful thing ever…yes, I am talking about shooting tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like unicorns laughter and smell like rainbows, out of my bottom. The PAIN!? This has by far been the most painful part of the recovery. Honestly, it feels like somebody is shooting fire arrows up my ass. Oh, but not just that, wind pain in my shoulders too, which the doctor did warn me about because of the gas/puffa fish thing during surgery.
That's pretty much my experience of the recovery a week and a half in.
But I have to say, the absolutely amazing part of the recovery has been the
wonderful friends and family who have sent me cards, flowers, postcards with
clouds on, chocolates, cakes (yes that amazing cake that literally, let the uterus out of
the bag) and well wishes. It is humbling and I am honestly so grateful.
My house has looked like a florist this week and it’s been amazing. They have
lifted my spirits and been beautiful to look at while I have been shoving cake,
chocolates and sweets in my mouth. (I'll be cursing you all in 6 weeks when I'm
20 stone. Oh God no, not another blog to get fit).
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| Thank you Chris Roche for this fab cake. |
And I have to do a PDA at this point, even though, after the first post
he hasn't read this blog because it's about 'papaya's n that'. (I've changed
the word he used to papaya as his word is even more offensive than the 'v'
word). But Matt my husband has been an absolute star and I don't actually know
what I would have done without him. We still have a long road ahead but so far
he has been (and I'm going to quote what he said to me last night) my 'celibate
home help'. It's so hard for me stepping back and not helping but he has literally stepped up and is doing EVERYTHING. From getting the kids dressed, to school/childminder, cooking tea, tidying the house, keeping me topped up with brews, bringing my dinner to me, food shopping, just everything that we normally do as a team.
So THANK YOU MATT if you ever read this! I owe you a weekend (probably a
week to be fair) away playing golf.... but not for another 10 weeks at
least. Actually, he said he won’t read this so he’ll miss out on his golf
offer…..
Right, I've waffled on enough. My next post isn't going to be papaya related
for a bit of a break, but I will keep you updated on my progress. I also have another post in mind about the kids during all of this change, including berry-gate, which is a funny story, well, it is now that enough time has passed, it was far from funny at the time.... on day 2 of being out of hospital...
I'm going to
have some fun with my next post... I’m now at the point where I’m waking up in the night with blog content going
around in my head. I have a lot of waffle to share.
Feel free to use the
comments box to tell me to bore off at any point…
Have a good weekend everybody.
#papaya
#unicorns
#sharingiscaring
#headinthecloudsKC
Instagram: @headinthecloudsKC
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| From my netball team mates @NewtonpanthersNB |
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| From my in laws |
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| From Vicky C |
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| From my mummy |
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| From Brigeroony |
Couldn't post any pictures of the chocolates/cakes/sweets... come on, this is me, they were in my tummy in a nanosecond...
xx
