Let the surgeon see the Papaya

The week before the operation I got told about the potential papaya hysterectomy at my pre op appointment. Before this I didn't actually realise you could do that op through 'that' entrance. But to be fair, I didn't really know that much about hysterectomies at all, apart from the experience of a good friend of mine who had been through it.

I talked the pros and cons through with my husband and he rightly said, 'Kirsty, nobody but you can make this decision.' He also said, 'you need to think about the fact that this operation takes your option away to have children again and even though we had made the decision that we weren't having any more (snip snip), he said I need to think about if something ever happened to him, or if we split up, would I want children then?

Now that is depressing as hell, but he was right, and in true Kirsty style, this is how I worked it out...

Are we going to split up in the next 12 months? - No, we are very happy right now and I can't see that happening.

So then the thought process went - if we split up in say 12 months, I'd then be 36 years old. I'd then need to meet someone new to have said baby with, that could take a year or more, so I'd be 37/38. I then wouldn't have a baby with someone straight away, so now I'm 39.... Then, wait a minute *thinks back to being pregnant*. Sack this off, NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL NOT BE HAVING ANY MORE CHILDREN. Decision made.

 Of course this wasn't the only thing I needed to think about. There was also the risks of the operation, things that could potentially go wrong and also the menopause.  I did a lot of research and made sure I had all the questions in my head answered. I found a great website/forum called The Hysterectomy Association which was amazing. It provided answers to all my questions and had a forum where ladies shared their experiences. I was armed with info and ready for surgery.... 

The morning of the operation came and surprisingly, I was really calm about it. Matt and the kids got up early and took me to Spire Cheshire Hospital in Warrington and dropped me off. I said a cheery goodbye to them but as I walked away a couple of tears fell from my eyes. 

I wasn't going to see the children for four days and even worse than that the recovery meant that I couldn't give them massive big hugs for a while. My mum used to call me her hugabug because of my love for hugs... I was really going to miss them. 

Bim Williams, my awesome consultant, came to see me and we discussed what was going to happen in surgery. I asked her about the hysterectomy that the nurse had mentioned at the pre op appointment, but she said that wasn't necessarily what was going to happen.

It's important to note that the last time I had seen Bim was well over a year ago when I had my pre op for the op that didn't happen in the previous October. So things may have changed with me, like for example my heavy periods, or the prolapse could have got worse.  I explained the period/anaemia problem to her and we came up with a plan.

My consent form went something like this....

Prolapse fix (front wall)

Plus

Hysteroscopy

and/or

Hysterectomy

Or

Endometrial ablation 

So basically, I was having a prolapse fix for definite and she was having a toot and taking a sample from my uterus then from that would make the decision which action would be best. So basically, I had no idea what would happen and would only find out post-surgery. Yikes!

I was really glad this happened though because it made me realise my true feelings about the hysterectomy. I was a little bit gutted that it might not happen. After everything that had happened this year, I was tired of trying to find something that might work, and the ablation option had the whole 'percentage of success' attached to it. Pah! I just wanted it to be over now and the heavy periods and the anaemia to be gone and wanted to feel like me again.

So off I went down to surgery...... 'Kirsty you are going to feel a little light headed.......5, 4, 3............'

#papaya

#sharingiscaring

xxx

Is this year over yet...

2015, what an absolute stinker this year has been. It's been an odd one though, things health wise haven't been great, which we will get to in a minute, but also all around me things have been happening to people that I love and care about, things that I wish I could help with more or change. But those aren't my stories to tell but lucky for you guys, the papaya story is, I know, I know, contain yourselves...

So although the title of this post is 'Is this year over year', that really winds me up.... why do we think that at midnight on December 31st that all the crap of the previous year will just stop!? As if our health and problems think, 'Oh, wait a minute, it's now 2016, lets give her a break....' I guess it's just something for us to cling on to in the hope that it will get better.....but then, being British, we start moaning four days into January (when the hangover has finally gone) when the same problems are still sat there, laughing at us for thinking things would change because the year has.

Anyway, so the health thing... I kid you not now.... I have been in pain every single day since 7th January 2015. Not all the same pain, well, my knee has been the one constant (so I do understand why a lot of people thought I was having a knee op). I have had one day, when nothing on my body hurt me, which was 10 September. It lasted for one day, in fact, I think it was only 4 hours in total.

So here is the list of ailments... its a bit of a long one today so bear with....

7th January - I do something to my knee while doing Les Mills Grit - Plyo. I then do a really blokey thing and carry on working out. That includes, more Grit Plyo, Bodypump, Grit Cardio, running, basically all the sort of things that will make a knee injury worse... I know, I'm a dick.


March some time (still working out with my dodgy knee), I keep getting some crazy stomach swellings (the picture to the right isn't me sticking my tummy out, it was ROCK hard like that all the time) which then starts a number of tests... blood tests, scans, and eventually a camera up the papaya's neighbour, nice!

You would have assumed at this point that one of the blood tests they carried out would have tested my blood count.... but no...that would be too simple..

So now I'm at the point where I am getting ridiculously out of breath walking up stairs, chronically tired from the moment I open my eyes (I felt all day like my eyes had only just opened, you know, that bog eye type feeling), when I take my make up off, I look like Casper the friendly ghost on smack. I have massive black patches under my eyes and I'm deathly pale, I just feel like I'm falling apart and can't understand it, especially when I have had so many tests recently.

Being a mum of two pre school children and holding down a job, the time period between Feb - Aug was the hardest part of this year. To this day now I have no idea how carried on with my day to day life feeling the way I did.

Jump to May, and the mouth ulcers. If you're friends with me on Facebook you will remember mouth ulcer-gate. Nearly 3 weeks of the most painful mouth ulcers ever, all over my tongue and gums. Nothing, and I mean, nothing, would ease the pain. I used to get temporary relief from Orajel but apart from that nothing helped.

I kept googling mouth ulcers and the NHS website said 'Most mouth ulcers will clear up by themselves within a week or two. You only need to see your GP or dentist if the ulcer gets worse or lasts longer than three weeks, or if you develop ulcers regularly.'

So I didn't go to the doctor until week 3, where she did my bloods again.

Friday before we went on our first family holiday abroad, I get a call from the doctors, 'Hi Kirsty, can you come down to the surgery within the hour to see the doctor'. In my 'non dramatic' way I think, this is it, I'm a goner!

When I got there the doctor said and I quote 'your iron stores are depleted, you have no iron in your body whatsoever'. I was like, oh, ok and that means....? I was severely anemic. My red blood cell count was 5 (I think from memory) when it should be about 175. I actually burst out crying when she told me because I had started to question my sanity and although the symptoms I mentioned above were happening, I never put them all together and I never got them looked at individually because I just thought it was nothing, stupidly.

The doctor wanted to get me in for a blood transfusion but I begged not to because I was going on holiday two days later and promised that I would instead take the iron tablets and eat iron rich food while sunning myself in Spain. She agreed, phew.

The next step was working out why I was so anemic because I eat iron rich foods all the time and have a well balanced diet.

After a couple of months of taking the iron and my levels going up, then back down again, then up and crashing down again, everything pointed to the really heavy periods that I had now got used to living with.

The periods, however, were getting worse every month until at one point, when I was staying down in London for work I flooded everywhere when I was in the office. Being away from home, this was horrific. I actually cried in the toilet. I couldn't just run home and change and I only had enough clothes with me for my overnight trip. It was getting unmanageable.

So then begins the pills and potions to try and ease the monthly nightmare. The doctor gave me Norethisterone to take if I needed to delay my periods for times I was going to London for work, or had a social event. Not fixing the problem as such, but controlling it.

I then got to the point where I was feeling exhausted two weeks before mother nature showed up and felt the same the week when she was in residence. That meant I only had one week of the month when I felt ok and had energy. So the doctor signed me off work for a month to try and get this under control and  changed the Norethisterone dose to take 3 tablets a day from day 15 - 26 of my cycle.

Anybody that knows me know that me and hormones don't get on. I can't take the pill because I've had a blot clot in the past and I am hypersensitive to hormones and any side effects associated with the pill, I get. So now, I was looking like a hormonal teenager with shockingly bad skin and my periods were coming every 20 days and only slightly lighter so still not solving the problem.... arghhhh!

In the meantime my papaya fixing appointment was getting closer and I had my appointment for the pre-op with the nurse. When I get in she sits me down and said 'So Kirsty, we have you in for a prolapse/pelvic floor fix and a papaya hysterectomy'... I was like, erm, NO, prolapse fix yes, but hysterectomy, NO..... and then I thought, ahaaa.... this could be the answer...... The nurse reassures me nothing will be done without my consent and that the consultant will go through everything on the morning of the op... So off I skip home.... to google 'vaginal hysterectomy'.....

Which then leads me to papaya surgery day....

#papaya
#sharingiscaring